A Valentines to my Future Self
February is universally known as the “month of love”. Flowers, teddy bears, candy, maybe even proposals. This year, Valentine’s feels different for me. Valentine’s Day for me wasn’t about celebrating the present, but promising something to the future version of myself. This year, instead of writing a love letter, I’m writing a letter to my future self. No romance, no flowers, no teddy bears, but promises. Promises, to listen to my body, protect my heart, and to choose long term health over short term pressure.
Being diagnosed with POTS (Post Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) this year has been incredibly overwhelming. With new diagnosis, comes new doctors, new measures to take, and new medication. Having been diagnosed with a heart murmur for a while hasn’t made the fear of fragility any less palpable. It lingers, deep and uncomfortable. But, that doesn’t mean I'm fragile, or powerless. How unexpected it was that these life altering diagnoses caused me to change how I understand and interpret love. And prevention, it’s one of the most crucial forms of self love.
POTS has taught me that even in the midst of challenges, that awareness is not weakness, but power. Some days, all there is just a struggle to regulate my heart rate and blood flow. Other days, I can barely stand without toppling over. Even in those moments I am learning what it means to protect myself and my heart. Therefore, this Valentine’s, I want to dedicate my writing, not to someone else, but to myself.
Dear Future Me,
I hope this letter finds you well. I promise wholeheartedly to listen to my body when pushing limits, stay hydrated, stay on track with medication, build strength slowly and safely, manage stress, rest when I need to, I promise to advocate for heart health more than ever.
Sincerely, Aleks.
Prevention is meaningful, prevention is love, prevention is the future. I hope that in the next few years, I can return to this post and reaffirm the promises I made this February. This Valentine’s, I choose the quieter but impactful kind of love. The kind of love that can change everything, self-love. Readers, I hope you all do too.